Behind the Design: The Feelings You Didn’t Budget For

Recently, I was catching up with a past client who I worked with on a kitchen renovation. I had only been involved at the beginning of the project, helping her rethink the layout and make the space function better. The finish selections and everything that followed were decisions she and her family tackled on their own.

As we chatted, she laughed and said, "I don't know how you do this every day."

She said she hadn't expected just how mentally exhausting the whole process would be. Every day seemed to come with another 50 decisions. Appliances, flooring, hardware, lighting, paint. The list goes on. She told me about how overwhelmed she felt throughout the process.

Then she asked me if I feel that kind of stress every day doing this job.

It was such an interesting question that got me thinking about this next blog post because, in many ways, she's describing the exact thing almost every homeowner experiences during a renovation or new build.

Most people expect (and prepare for) the dust, the noise, and the disruption to their daily routine, that’s obvious. But what catches them off guard is the emotional side of it.

It's something I've noticed on almost every project I've been involved in.

During the first consultation, clients are usually eager to get started. They have ideas saved, they're excited to see plans come together, and they're ready for a fresh start. Then, somewhere in the middle of the project, things shift. The excitement is still there, but it gets mixed with uncertainty and second-guessing.

I've had clients who couldn't wait to replace their kitchen suddenly stop and say, "this is where we brought our babies home." And then it wasn't about the cabinets anymore, it was about the memories attached to the room they were about to demolish and rebuild.

I've seen people make a decision they felt super confident about, only to text me the next day asking if they should change it because they found another option online.

I've seen couples make decision after decision without missing a beat, then pause over one choice they just couldn't see the same way towards the very end.

I don't think it's because the decision itself is especially difficult. It's because your home is personal. When you know you'll be living with those decisions long after the renovation is over, it's easy to understand why they can feel so significant in the moment.

There are also far more decisions throughout a renovation or home build than most people expect.

Some are big and obvious: Should we move this wall? Is it worth making the bedroom windows larger? Do we invest in custom cabinetry (spoiler: the answer is almost always yes!)? Is there enough storage?

Others seem almost insignificant. Which grout colour? Cabinet knobs or pulls or both? 5” or 6” tall baseboards?

None of those choices are especially difficult on their own, but after months of making one decision after another, they start to pile up and take a toll on the mental load you’re already carrying. Even people who are naturally decisive can reach a point where every option feels like the wrong one.

I've had clients laugh and say, "I can't make one more decision" (they're usually only half joking).

One thing I've learned is that people don't always need someone to make the decisions for them. Sometimes, they already know what they like but what they need is someone to help sort through all the noise. Someone to explain the pros and cons, answer the questions they didn't know to ask, and reassure them that they're not overlooking something important.

Sometimes that means simply talking through a layout or it can mean reminding someone why they loved an idea before they spent three hours scrolling Pinterest and convinced themselves otherwise.

I can't count how many times I've heard a client say, "I just needed someone to tell me this makes sense."

Those are the conversations I tend to remember most because they’re a good reminder of how personal renovating or building a home really is. Our homes are where birthdays are celebrated, holidays are hosted, kids grow up, and ordinary Tuesday nights turn into core memories.

When you look at it that way, it makes perfect sense that renovating or building a home can bring out excitement, stress, doubt, and all the emotions in between.

That's just part of the process, and if you've ever felt that way during a renovation, know that you're definitely not alone!